In section 4, I file for divorce to enforce my custodial rights, and I finally understand what is happening in our neighborhood, and I explain just how my art helped me survive this experience.
This is the real-life, true-crime detective story of how writing Rytius Records helped me to heal traumas from childhood sexual abuse and thereby enabled me to escape contemporary narcissistic abuse, by sending me on a six-month investigation into organized crime in my South Central Los Angeles neighborhood.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Discussion of prostitution, rape, and violence.
The inspiration for this story comes from Valou, The Cool Mommy, at @Blueprintstothe5dkingdom, who helped me to build up the courage to tell it.
Get In the Boat
I. Things Fall Apart
Dead Fathers, College Sweethearts, Art, Addiction, and Childhood
Gender, Soulless Beasts, The Ancient Near East, and AI
Mentions:
Origin of Plot of Rytius RecordsThe Algebra of Strength and Devotion (the first stab at our “new covenant between men and women”)
Photography
Plato’s Timaeus
Myth of Atrahasis
Epic of Gilgamesh
Descent of Ishtar
Enuma Elish (Marduk and Tiamat)Támar, Prince, A Divine Revelation, Burnout, and Extortion
Mentions:
IA and the Siren Robots, How Am I Not Myself? (2023)
“Feeling Yourself Under Your Sundress” (this is not rated X, and it is not pornography, but it is NSFW erotic dance)“Street Ho”: I decided not to upload these rudimentary vocal sketches, because I already did the vocal sketches in the video.
Strike!, Creeps, Spiders, and the “Just Blacks”
Mentions:
“The Epistemological Problem” (rough voice memo of my proposal to Steve Caldwell and Eric Hammond to support my AI research)
Weird Emails
II. Detective Damastes, or, How I Became Spider-Man
The Flood, Oblivion, Math, Gender, Sacrifice, and the State
Mentions:
“The Epistemological Problem” (rough voice memo of my proposal to Steve Caldwell and Eric Hammond to support my AI research)Perverse Family Dynamics, Legal Hijinks, Harassment and Intimidation
I Almost Get Arrested, Gender Abolition In Prison, and the Possibility of Romance Behind Bars
Righteous Records, Tenant’s Rights, and Sex-Industry Infrastructure
Miss Becky, Home Improvement, Provocations, and Paranoia
Mentions:
The Algebra of Strength and Devotion (2023)
“Thoughts on Barbie”
“SCHARP Behavioral Health”Church, Kompromat, Carol Gilligan, and Reunion
Mentions:
Carol Gilligan, “In a Different Voice: Women's Conceptions of Self and Morality,” Harvard Educational Review, vol. 47, no. 4, November 1977
In A Different Voice (1982)
Video Seminar: In A Human Voice (2022)
Francine Prose’s New York Times Magazine book review of Making Connections: The Relational Worlds of Adolescent Girls at Emma Willard School (1990)
“Thoughts on Barbie”Seclusion, Intimate Betrayal, Selfishness, and Zombie Girl
Mentions:
Phyllis Trible, Texts of Terror (1984)
A Review of Trible’s Texts of Terror“Samson: The World-Destroying Weakness of Strength Unmastered by Love”
Weaving Wisdom, Ultimatums, Crime as Control, and Peter Parker’s Debut
Mentions:Theresa Stewart-Ambo and Kelly Leah Stewart, “From Tovaangar to the University of California, Los Angeles”, American Indian Culture and Research Journal (2023)
Fatherhood, Brotherhood, and a Successful Extortion
Mentions:
“Skippity Skippity Dip Dip,” one of Ise’s melodies that I recorded on October 29, 2023.Tradecraft, Attempted Murder, Perfect Gifts, and the Neighborhood Watch
Mentions:
“Neighborhood Watch Details”Drug Dealers, Intelligence Sharing, Forgiveness, and Angel
Mentions:
“Samson and the Sweet, Sweet Taste of Justice”
Total Blame, Spidey Sense, Ancient Aliens, and Taking the Piss
Straight-Edge Spidey, LAFD, Combo Poisons, and Martin Lawrence
Mentions:
Ken Kesey, author of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1962)
Guy Debord, Comments on the Society of the Spectacle (1988)
Fredy Perlman, Against His-Story, Against Leviathan (1983)
Lookouts, School Zones, 911, Henhouse Foxes and Bad Faith
Mentions:
Performative Orgiastics, Cruisin’, Cyber Pimps, and a Failure to Communicate
Mentions:
My Letter to Ryann of January 15, 2024
Ryann’s View of My Psychology (Fall 2023)
Our Mid–January 2024 Chats About Reunion, etc.A Parallax View of Welfare Graft and Poverty Pimping: SCHARP and Ideal Program Services
Mentions:
California Information Practices Act of 1977
California Fair Information Practice Principles (“FIPPs”)
California Code of Regulations for Mental Health Providers
The Lanterman Developmental Disabilities Act
Crisis Intervention for the Developmentally Disabled (“Locked Facilities List”)
March 6, 2024 Open Letter to Regulators on SCHARP Behavioral Health
III. What A Week
Nina Simone, Object Relations, Fin-de-Siècle Vienna, and Transference
Mentions:
Melanie Klein, The Psychoanalysis of Children (1932)Sigmund Freud, Fragments of an Analysis of a Case of Hysteria (1905)
“Dora” on Wikipedia
Otto Kernberg, Hatred, Emptiness and Hope (2023)
Beatrice Beebe, “Joining Your Baby’s Distress Moments” (2023)
Beatrice Beebe, “Decoding the Non-Verbal Language of Babies: Part 1” (2019)
Frank Yeomans, “Transference-Focused Psychotherapy: An Evidence-Based Psychodynamic Therapy for BPD” (2008)
Mentions:
Ise’s Safety, Trying to Help, and Going Deep Cover
Mentions:
Judy’s “Fox of Crenshaw” Texts
Moral Injury, My Ultimatum, Intergenerational Trauma, and 2Kute2Die
Mentions:
Ryann Suggests I Learn About Narcissistic Abuse From Lee Hammock
Silvia Federici Discussing Her Work
Valerie Solanas, S.C.U.M. Manifesto (Wikipedia)
“Radical Acceptance” and Pro-Illness Therapy
The Doctrine of Threefold Mindfulness According to Jaws: “Radical Honesty” as Pro-Illness Therapy
V. What Really Happened