3. House Coleman
Rytius Records was Rytius’s record store. But there were no prices on anything, and Rytius was interested in neither truck nor barter. He had never sold anything save his Hardest cider and duck eggs, and he had only occasionally traded anything at all. So it was more of a library than a store. Besides that, he had most recently traded man-about-town Tweety Bird Andrews a duplicate copy of the Partridge Family’s eponymous 1970 debut album for a year’s worth of Gentleman’s Quarterly magazines (August 1995–August 1996). So it wasn’t really about records, as in music, either. There was no lending. That never even crossed Rytius’s mind.
Rytius both lived and kept shop in the home in which he and his brother Ritius chose their names. House Coleman was one of a handful of registered ancestral homes in the principality of New Ark, thanks mainly to the Colemans’ long history of service to the princes of the realm. Ritius’s shield was the fifth to adorn their gable. His pride was such that he often spoke of the exploits of his forebears and the beauty of the home they built, tempting both rivals and robbers to surveil the location, and would-be sycophants to call unannounced, which had only been a cause for embarrassment on Rytius’s part. Of course no man dared to cross Ritius, let alone his master, the prince of New Ark, in an assault on their home. The only two who had attempted more than a stakeout at a respectable distance received two of Rytius’s finest stilettos in their livers, simultaneously, while still in their vehicle—no easy feat.
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